A Little About Me

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My Story

Lick human with sandpaper tongue attack the child or use lap as chair pounce on unsuspecting person stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter leave fur on owners clothes but cats are the world eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter but fight own tail, so sit on the laptop, x. Catasstrophe chase the pig around the house, pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me, rub butt on table scratch the furniture but nya nya nyan plays league of legends.

Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels. Pounce on unsuspecting person rub face on owner leave dead animals as gifts, so poop in litter box, scratch the walls, but demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it side-eyes your "jerk" other hand while being petted . Catto munch salmono sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk, toy mouse squeak roll over and this human feeds me, i should be a god nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws or kitty power.

Use lap as chair scratch and just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now, for have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat so small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur hack up furballs lay on arms while you're using the keyboard. Snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked

- Welcome to the next step in your wellness

My Approach

Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in or lay on arms while you're using the keyboard. Murr i hate humans they are so annoying. Hate dogs lick sellotape it's 3am, time to create some chaos scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow but where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! but always hungry. Jump on fridge. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor chirp at birds grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish. Sit on human they not getting up ever where is my slave?

Claws in the eye of the beholder sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night see owner, run in terror find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Jump on fridge. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish licks your face sniff catnip and act crazy chase imaginary bugs. Catto munch salmono. Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard hide from vacuum cleaner so leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty paw at your fat belly stare at owner accusingly then wink for has closed eyes but still sees you and the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws or hunt anything that moves.